The Internet Letter

smart / young / funny Staff E-Mail Sent One Day After The Internet Blackout

to: staff
subject: our moment is now

The Internet will go quiet today. But we hear opportunity.

As Wikipedia shutters its encyclopedia pages in protest of the Stop Online Piracy Now Act and Protect IP Act, it takes a bold stance against government censorship. The young, rebellious Internet industry will plunge into Washington politics.

That’s all fine. But we need to think rationally here. could get caught up in the revolution, or we could plot a coup d’etat. And that’s precisely what we’re going to do.

You see, we’ve amassed quite the stockpile of knowledge over the years. Yet, we’re ridiculed by the masses that douse their queries with binge searches on Wikipedia. If it’s a synopsis of an episode of Full House you need, we can only offer you instructions on how to play a full house in a game of poker. This isn’t ideal.

Our moment is now.

The top editors here have spent the past 24 hours pouring what we know about virtually every subject into article pages. We’ve cranked out nearly 7 million pages of useless knowledge. And when the Internet goes dark, our light will remain on.

While we haven’t been keeping up with the news, what with being locked in our offices churning out content, we imagine that the transition to will be seamless when Wikipedia shuts down.

So upwards and onwards, the Internet is ours for the taking!

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